Trying to control an uncertain tomorrow is like Trying to catch the ocean one handful at a time.
Fear began to grip my gut for the numbers did not add up. I added it again and again and each time with the same questions running through my mind. Would we have enough saved in our account to last our days? Can we trim the expenses once again?
Ministry does not often allow for a fat saving account. I became more and more unsettled as friends were taking early retirements, and acquaintances could now live comfortable lifestyles. I felt unprepared. “Fear of the Future” took up residence in my heart and trust me, fear is not a good roommate. Anxiety tightened its grip. Fear caused me to try to control my tomorrow.
Trying to control an uncertain tomorrow is like trying to catch the ocean one handful at a time. It will drive one mad.
Then. This. Happened . . .
That Sunday I sat on my cushioned chair, and my pastor’s words ran deep. He challenged his church family to choose faith over fear. I know God does not want his children to live in fear. I know God has power over demons, nature, and even death. I knew, that morning, I had to choose faith and kick fear to the curb. The words taught that Sunday were spoken for me and a decision needed to be made.
“Father,” I whispered. “I am letting go of this fear. I am choosing faith over fear. And Lord, could you remind me that you are in control of my finances and my future? Could you give a little something for me to hang on to; just to remind me that you are in control?”
As I finished my prayer, Mr. Fear packed his bags and moved out. I chose faith and God gave peace. Calmness filled the castle of my heart.
You know what else happened that day? Remember my prayer, “Could you give a little something for me to hang onto?”
Before we left the sanctuary, a church member quietly gave my husband a check. This member did not know my story. This member had not seen my fear. This member had no idea of my prayer. This member gave. It was unexpected, and ‘not for any reason.’ But God . . .
But God knew. God saw me. God heard me. To me, the check was more than the numbers with the comma written on paper. That check said, God sees my future, and He’s got this. I can rest in Him, not my plans, not my account, not my way. That check reminded me that God had taken care of my family and me in the past, and He will do it again and again in our future. God is present in my yesterday; God is present in my today and God will be present in my tomorrow.
Friends, He has my future, and your future under control. He is bigger than any check book. He is more than any account. He cares and He gives. He sees and He knows.
He is my future.
Please hear me say, I am not a “name it and claim it” kind of gal . . . But I am a daughter of the King. My mother-in-law use to say, “Take care of the pennies and nickels and the dimes and quarters will take care of themselves.” This means being faithful with the pennies and nickels by living on a budget. This means being faithful today in the large and small things God lays before me and tomorrow will take care of itself.
I am kicking fear to the curb, for I am a Proverbs 31 lady who can laugh at the days to come.
You know what? Friend, you can too.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)