Love on Ordinary Days

Terry and I have been married long enough to know that a good marriage isn’t built on candlelight dinners, romantic getaways, or always feeling madly in love.

Those things are wonderful! But most of marriage happens on typical days.

It’s bills and laundry: work and family. Deciding what’s for dinner when you’re both too tired to care. Haha!

Marriage has shown me that love isn’t only something you feel, but something you practice.

Love is something you practice.

“Love is patient, love is kind.” —1 Corinthians 13:4

I need to practice patience when the day has been long. I can practice listening even if I know what he is going to say. I must forgive when it would be easier to hold a grudge. Can you relate?

And over time, love grows deeper because you keep choosing each other.

Here are a few things that have helped us through the ups and downs:

Laugh together. Some seasons are heavy. Laughter won’t fix everything, but it can remind you that you’re facing it together. "A cheerful heart is good medicine for the soul, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22) Perhaps we can apply this as: "A cheerful heart is good medicine for the soul, but a crushed spirit dries up a marriage." Friends, when did we get so serious? Laughter costs nothing and lightens the mood. Learn to laugh! Enjoy your partner and your life. - Laugh!

Keep getting to know each other. After years of marriage, it’s easy to assume you already know everything about your spouse. Ask questions anyway. Listen to the answers. People keep growing, and there is still more to discover. Spend time together listening, growing and rediscovering each other.

Forgive each other. Colossians 3:13 tells us to “bear with each other and forgive one another.” There will be things to bear. There will be things to forgive. We will both get it wrong sometimes. Grace gives us a way forward.

And for me, the most important thing is keeping Christ at the center.

Terry was never designed to meet my every need. I was not designed to meet his every need. Only Christ can hold that place. When I stay close to Him, He works on the way I love Terry. He teaches me endurance, helps me let go of resentment, and reminds me to extend the grace I need so often myself. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I love the picture of a marriage strengthened as we both keep turning to the Lord.

The years have given us plenty of typical days. I am truly grateful for the good, but also for the lessons, the forgiveness we’ve needed, and the Lord who has been faithful through it all.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” —1 Peter 4:8

At His Feet, Becky