Guest Post from Shelly Holbrook
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether." (Psalm 139:1-4, ESV)
My thoughts are not always good. In fact, there have been seasons in my life where my thoughts were incredibly sinful. Those thoughts greatly affected my life, those around me, and my intimacy with God. Nothing I have ever done or thought has been hidden from God. In Psalm 139, the psalmist writes, “O Lord, You have searched me and known me.” (Psalm 139:1)
In seasons of grief, it’s easy for our thoughts to shift to a pattern of maladaptive sinful thinking that just perpetuates the pain we’re already experiencing. For me, it was dealing with infidelity, abandonment, and divorce that caused my season of grief. Maybe you are dealing with a sudden death, a scary diagnosis, lies, betrayal, or broken dreams. In my own pain I allowed negative thoughts about myself, my future, and my God to take up sacred space, which kept me from healing.
I thought I was worthless. I thought there was no hope. I thought that God had left me alone, the broken pieces of my life beyond being made beautiful. I thought no one would ever truly know me and love me. I thought that no good could ever come from the pain I experienced.
None of these thoughts were from God, and none of them were hidden from God. He heard every pain-filled, faithless and self-deprecating thought. The psalmist writes, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” and “(Psalm 139:7, ESV) There were no mental fig leaves available to keep God from seeing and knowing my thoughts.
Yet He still loved me.
And not with just any kind of love. I am His daughter; I am His. He has called me. He both fully knows me and fully loves me, and this does not change based on my behavior or thoughts. His love for me is incomprehensible. In his letter to the Church at Ephesus, Paul encourages believers saying, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.”
If you are His, He loves you right now – in whatever state you are in. He loves you no matter what thoughts are taking up sacred space in your heart. And His love for you is too great to leave you in that place. Let His love for you transform your thoughts to things that are true, good, and pure.
Today I hope you can see how high, how wide, how deep, and how long His great love is for you. Or at least try to see it on this side of eternity.
“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Eph. 3:18-19, ESV).
Christian Writer &
Mental Health Therapeutic Manager
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